Tag Archives: Insurance

Marginalia, no.327

Discharge of a nuclear weapon will be deemed a warlike act even if accidental.

~ Insurance policy for a violin

It’s one of those exclusion clauses you don’t even blink at because you’re sure it will never apply. But the gods are not mocked and I had just started playing when Uncle Jim, the lazy bastard, shifted on the couch and detonated the warhead in his back pocket. What a mess! He apologized, and of course it was an accident. But we all know you can’t trust Jim to compensate you for things like that. He’ll buy you a burger at In-N-Out one day and call it even.

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Marginalia, no.211

Animals, birds or fish… hovercraft and parts… grave markers…

~ From a list of insurance exclusions

On a Scale of Value plotted as a circle, items located between one o’clock and eleven may be considered insurable: houses, automobiles, eyes, teeth, health, life, etc. These are easily enough converted to dollars. Not insurable are those articles straddling the uncertain noon where Priceless fades into Valueless: the pet dog that ate your fifth birthday cake but which you loved anyway, your mechanically troubled ambition to defeat gravity, and your favorite deceased friends and relatives.

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