Marginalia, no.167

How long do Sea-Monkeys live? Thanks to new computer-driven processing technologies and ultra-pure, non-toxic chemicals, twice as many Sea-Monkeys instantly hatch, grow larger, and live longer than ever before.

~ The Amazing Live Sea-Monkeys® brochure

Sales Tip #72: Don’t answer direct questions about Sea-Monkey death. ‘Well, Junior, like the globe itself, the happy plastic aquarium is, of course, a graveyard. But modern science allows you to enjoy it longer than your grandparents ever did.’


Filed under Marginalia

2 responses to “Marginalia, no.167

  1. Or, let them couch such queries in “Spenserian” English:

    Proud Change (not pleas’d, in mortal Things
    Beneath the Moon, to reign)
    Pretends, as well of Gods, as Men,
    To be the Sovereign.

    What Man that sees the ever-whirling Wheel
    Of Change, the which all mortal things doth sway,
    But that thereby doth find, and plainly feel,
    How MUTABILITY in them doth play
    Her cruel Sports, to many Mens decay?
    Which that to all may better yet appear,
    I will rehearse that whylom I heard say,
    How she at first her self began to real;
    Gainst all the Gods, and th’ Empire sought from them to bear.

  2. Pingback: A Domestic Bestiary | The New Psalmanazar

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