SAUCE, n. The infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
An illustration of the painful path to virtue: I came home last night and found my wife concocting a sauce of red chile peppers. She had roasted them in the oven and the fumes filled the house. I immediately began coughing. There was a sharp pricking at the back of my throat. The floodgates of eyes and nose were thrown wide and I fled to the bedroom until the air was clear. The final result of her labors, however, was beyond tasty – it was another yard won from creeping barbarism.